An Open Letter to Weary Women

April 14, 2016

Dear Weary Woman,

I can imagine your sighs and the groanings of your exhausted heart as you scroll through your social media feed. With each swipe of a finger, you’re taking it all in. You’re flooded with images depicting the ideal. And there standing in filtered goodness, you see what you long to have: the perfect hair, the perfect outfit, the perfect plated meal, the perfect spouse, the perfect body, the perfect child, the perfect house, the perfect job. There she is- the perfect woman.

And as you sit there with messy hair and ill-fitting clothes, you’ve become increasingly aware of your own deficiencies. You hear the whispers that tell you that you’ll never measure up. You scan your messes, thinking on your strained relationships and flawed body. You’re now wearily convinced that you’re failing miserably.

But let me now remind you of what you’ve forgotten during that quick survey of others.

That feed is full of perfection because the images you’re seeing have been carefully chosen to accentuate the strengths of others. It’s their highlight reel; the best part of their lives depicted. The messes have been cropped. The arguments exchanged for smiles.  The skin filtered. For each good picture you see, there were countless others that didn’t make the cut. And those photoshopped, filtered and cropped images simply aren’t found in real life.

Approach social media feeds with caution, accepting them for what they are and rejecting the lie of what they are not- the full picture of someone’s life. Celebrate the highlights while remembering that on the other side of that image is a woman likely struggling with the same sense of failure as yourself. Like you, she’s seen the standard of perfection on social media and has grown weary trying to measure up.

It’s my firm belief that social media can be a powerful tool at creating authentic relationships if we strive for authenticity. But if we crop out the not so lovely parts of our lives, we’re deceiving ourselves and others. Listen, I love a good Instagram filter and cropping messes and creating keepsake photos so I’m not arguing for us to put an end to the fun and pretty. I’m just campaigning for us to view filtered posts with a little bit of salt, remembering that they are the best, not complete, pictures of one’s life.

Let’s not allow the fallacy of social media perfection to be the standard with which we measure our worth.


Another weary woman

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